Yesterday while I was driving back from Salt Lake City with my friends, one of them persuaded me to listen to his current favorite book "You Can, You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner" by Joel Osteen. Yup I know I am talking about self-help books again with those boring and repetitive principles to solve personal problems. But I can't stop myself from discussing what I learned from those books. So please bear with me:)
The part that I listened to is about how to find our happiness and how to be responsible for our own happiness. Osteen says we often try to please everybody and that road will eventually lead us to failures and stresses. Trying to please everyone is not a bad thing; however, by doing that we abandon our ideals and life purposes. As a result, making someone else happy does not bring happiness to our lives. Moreover, Osteen mentions there are various types of people out there and we need to choose who to stay in our lives and who should not. There will be friends who inspire us and help us to better and there will be friends who drag us down, take advantage of us and make us feel bad all the time. Therefore, it's crucial to spend our time with the right people. What I like most about the chapter is Osteen's advice to fulfill the path that God created for us. Each individual is created with a purpose. And we have the responsibility to fulfill our life purpose.
While listening to the book, I wondered what I could to do follow what God has in store for me. I have been trying to help out people with the thought that their happiness is my happiness. However at the end of the day I feel worn out and empty sometimes because some of them are not taking responsibility for their problems. The book motivates me to follow God's plan for my life by living life more abundantly. God always challenges me so I can become stronger and better. Embracing the positive perspective and ignore the negative influences will lead me to where I need to be.
I really like your post. I know as a people pleaser, I will help as many people as I can. But all too often, I don't feel that satisfaction because I feel they have taken advantage of me. In addition, your comments about finding the right people who will lift us up and not bring us down is something I have struggled with my whole life. So I guess what I really want to say is as great as it is for one to help others, one needs to make sure that who they help will help one to further fulfill their purpose in life and not just being taken advantage of by one's charitable nature.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your post. I have never thought about friendships like this before. I am a people person. I enjoy being around people to be happy. But I have never really considered that there are some friends, while good people, who are better off left behind. I would be really interested to read that section of this book!
ReplyDeleteMia, now I am going to have to look up this book. I agree it is a great think to be a people pleaser. However, as you mention I feel it is necessary to choose who your "friends" are. At least for myself I often find myself imitating the attitudes of those around me. For this reason I try to surround myself with happy, positive friends. Thank you for your post.
ReplyDeleteThis comment may be a week late, but I find it so interesting that happiness was the topic of your post! This week my post was about choosing happiness for ourselves, and not being a passive bystander in our own happiness. I love what you have learned from this book. I agree that there is a point where our own happiness is sacrificed if we too heavily help others. There are certainly people who will take advantage of our help and positive attitude, leaving us drained. But if we chose friends that uplift us, chose activities that bring us happiness (such as cooking, exercising, etc.), and chose to keep our bodies healthy, we will be so much happier! Happiness seems like it should be something simple, but it really is a complicated matter!
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